One-on-one conversations are essential for grassroots community organizing. They allow us to learn what is in the hearts and minds of people in our community. This is the best way to create long-lasting relationships for advocacy.  

What is a one-on-one? A one-on-one is an intentional, face to face meeting with another person to understand their interests, passions, and story; share your own; build trust; and explore the possibility of acting together on issues of common concern.

Tip

Listen more than you speak. The person you are meeting with should be speaking for approximately 75% of the time, and you should be speaking for no more than 25% of the time.

 

Setting: At home, at a restaurant or coffee shop, at a park, or on a Zoom call or phone call

How Long:  30-45 minutes (no longer than an hour)

As you prepare, think about:

  • Who is your audience? What do you know about them? What are you hoping to learn about them?
  • How do you want to work together?
  • What is the end goal of this relationship/connection?
  • Who are they connected to?
  • How familiar are they with advocacy and/or with the issue area that you work on?
  • What do they know about engaging Congress?  
  • What is their familiarity with FCNL and Quakerism?
  • How can you support their work and their goals?

What to talk about

  • The other person’s interests and your own
  • Stories that give insight into their life
  • Their priorities and the reasons that motivate them 

Dos and Don’ts

DO exchange stories, experiences, motivations, and visions.

DO have a hard ask and clear next steps – this is an opportunity for someone to take action on what they care about (i.e. inviting them to an upcoming meeting, action, or event, asking to be connected to someone in their community, etc.)

DO have a clear follow-up plan (within 48 hours of the one-on-one)

DON’T make it a one-sided conversation that becomes an interview of the other person – share some information about yourself to discover points of connection

DON’T make this a “sales pitch” - it’s not a transactional relationship

DON’T end a conversation without knowing when you will speak to that person again 

Three types of no

Not now – Someone might be busy or unable to engage with your advocacy in that moment, but you should follow up with them when they are more available. Make sure you ask when that is and make sure you know how to reach out to them again.

Not that – They might not be interested in the opportunity you are offering, so you should always have a back-up opportunity. For example, if they don’t want to lobby, would they send an email or make a call on the ask?

Not ever – It’s ok to encounter someone that will not join your advocacy! It’s worth hearing them and trying to find common ground, but you can’t force anything.

Some starting questions to ask in your initial one-on-ones:

  • How did you first hear about FCNL?
  • Where in the area are you based? How long have you been in this area? What brought you here?  
  • Tell me more about you! What keeps you busy these days? What kind of work are you hoping to make more time for?  
  • Have you always been interested in this issue? What sparked your interest?  
  • Have you been part of any kind of community organization doing work with Congress before?
  • When you’re working with a group, what kinds of tasks or projects are most energizing for you? How might you want to contribute?  

Following Up

Follow up is crucial!  

Remember to follow up within 24 hours inviting the person to take the next step you discussed.

Keep notes on your one-on-ones for future reference. It is best practice to not note take or record during your conversation but to jot down what was discussed and what the next steps are shortly after.